Casa Jonsson

I’m a fairly polite person with average social skills for a (self-diagnosed) borderline Asperger’s sufferer. But I have this irritating premature “goodbye” habit. If you and I have ever spoken by phone then the following exchange will sound familiar.

You: Well, it was good talking to you.

Me: Same here. Take care.

You: Have a—

Me: Bye! [hangs up]

You: —good day. Bye. (aside) What is it with him?

I’m aware of this problem yet I feel powerless to change. Why am I so hung up about hanging up? It’s true that I have no love of the telephone or of talking on the telephone, but this cannot be the reason. I think insecurity makes me knee-jerk to avoid getting caught speaking into a dead receiver, even if it’s only for a moment.

So there you have it: “Better you than me.” I am swamp scum. I am toenail dirt. (Mercy, but I miss Dave Barry!) The Bill Clinton in me tells me a mea culpa is in order.

I have ended telephone conversations in a way that is not appropriate. In fact, it is wrong. It constitutes a critical lapse in etiquette and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible. This has gone on too long, cost too much and hurt too many innocent callers. And so today, I ask you to turn away from the spectacle of past abruptly ended conversations to repair the fabric of our telephone discourse. Thank you for reading.