Casa Jonsson

Most people who know me know that I am not, primarily, an image-driven person. I pride myself on this, actually. It’s part of my image not to be image-driven.

So why is it that now, as I stand on the precipice of a new car purchase, or should I say, an old car purchase (due to the previously blogged car maladies) I am acutely aware of the image I want to portray to the world? Even though I haven’t watched television regularly in over a decade, I find that I still think I am what I drive.

I know what you’re thinking. “Araceli, you’re someone who has been driving a 1990 Honda Accord EX with three sardines, er, children in the back seat. Anything is an improvement.” To which I reply, “Maybe.”

You see, another part of my image is to be a thrifty person. Driving an old, reliable car suits me.

But you see, I am not totally thrifty because we’ve (happily) entered the expensive world of the third child. While the little cherub doesn’t cost much in the way of clothes, he is solely responsible for our having to look for a bigger vehicle.

I like the idea of forcing my kids into the solidarity of suffering by squeezing them into the back seat before they know better that others don’t live like this. I think it builds character in boys to make them be physically uncomfortable. (Thank you, God, for sparing a little girl a mother such as I.)

But then I also like the idea of being able to pick up my in-laws from the airport, something I cannot do in a five-passenger car.

So what are our choices? As we see it, they are as follows:

Minivan. Ugh. I really am not a minivan person. And Nils is even less so. Mileage good, safety probably OK, but image … ugh, where has all the romance gone? Whenever I drive this car, I feel like planning a trip to Disneyworld, which is not to say that Disneyworld doesn’t sound fun these days.

SUV. There is absolutely no reason in the world to buy a five-passenger SUV for this family. As I see it, I still can’t pass the airport test, and then I have the image of a gas guzzler without even having the benefit of being the worst kind of gas guzzler with the luxury of a small apartment for a car.

Huge SUV. This is actually an option, but have you priced these recently? We looked at one in the dark that looked great for $15K, but in the daylight it had the standard red juice box stains, crayon marks, etc. Very depressing. My Honda might be old, but it doesn’t look as though kids ate, slept and drank inside it without their parents for thirteen years. The price, horrible. The gas mileage, embarrassing. The image … well, it would definitely make me look like a Texan, but the Californian in me still feels a little funny about that.

One comment on mileage though, for all of those greenies among us, myself included. It occurred to me that though the mileage is awful, if I regularly carry at least six people in it, it’s better than having two cars with excellent mileage.

So finally, the best choice for us for the moment, we think, though we could easily change our minds in like the next 10 minutes, is the “cadillac” of all cars, the Cadillac!

Hugely built, comfy for five, can put a sixth in the front for airport rides. Huge trunk for the trip to Disneyworld, but no DVD or kiddie pool onboard, averages 20 mpg. Best of all, these cars depreciate like nobody’s business. I was looking in the paper at a ’95 DeVille. 60K miles, leather seats, one owner, records, etc., and the cost on this car was a whopping $5,600. It probably sold originally for $40,000.

So the irony is that while driving a Cadillac doesn’t really match my image since I’m about 20 years too young, and it fits into the “luxury vehicle” category when new and I’m not really a luxury kind of gal, the older Caddy definitely suits the thrifty me.

Besides, Jenny Johnson has told me Cadillacs are cool. And if Jenny thinks they’re cool, why should I care what anyone else thinks?