Casa Jonsson

I coughed this up today on the plane home from New Hampshire.

With insincere apologies to the business gurus who hawk their expertise in the SkyMall catalog.

For Immediate Release

Saturday, August 2, 2003
Sugar Land, Texas

First-time author Nils H. Jonsson is celebrating the publication of Read Just the Title and the Back Cover. The book promises to be an indispensable manual for harried executives looking to glean insights from an overabundance of business wisdom books.

“Most of these [books] are a waste of paper, glue, and ink,” Jonsson claimed during a recent promotional appearance. “You can get all the meat out of them by—you guessed it—reading just the title and the back cover. This is true for all biz-wiz books,” he continued, “with a few exceptions, such as the one I’ve written.

“Although I haven’t actually read them,” Jonsson pontificated, “I can give you a few examples of books that can be absorbed using my method: First, Break All the Rules and Think and Grow Rich.” Jonsson paused to hitch up his pants and sniff chestily. “A few business books that you’ll have to go ahead and read include How to Win Friends and Influence People and The Seven Habits [of Highly Effective People].”

In a remark reminiscent of the indefatigable egotism of Stephen Wolfram, Jonsson stated, “I believe my work could have far-reaching effects, possibly eliminating the need for speed reading, audio books, best-seller lists, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, woodwind instruments, the internal combustion engine, and the set of all prime numbers.”

When asked whether he has plans for a follow-on title, Jonsson confided, “It takes me forever to come up with good ideas and even longer to spin them out. I don’t want to let the cat out of the bag, but I am working on something involving book jacket flaps.”

The book is available from Bastion of Mediocrity Press and at lesser bookstores absolutely nowhere. 

###